What Makes a Monster

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The only evidence of rain were the last remaining puddles in the sunken decaying cobblestones of Moonhaven. Judging by the position of the sun looked to be close to midday. Nyx found Karlach at the campfire seated on one of the logs.

"Woah!", Karlach greeted her, "You look rough. How do you feel?"

Nyx set her mouth in a line and quipped, "Like a giant worm smashed me into a wall."

Karlach guffawed and Nyx found a spot to sit. She settled onto the ground, propping herself up with her back against the log, she doesn't trust her balance to keep herself upright.

With her eyes closed, Nyx asked, "Where is everyone else? Camp is the odd kind of quiet that I like, and it's disturbing."

Karlach chuckled, "Tav's gotten herself a new mission."

Nyx frowned up at Karlach through squinted eyes, "Operation Camp Gob was not satisfactory enough?"

"She got annoyed after working through... intel", Karlach made air quotes, "She collected from Minthara's office while we were getting stitched up."

Nyx raised her eyebrows as best she could, and Karlach continued.

"A group called," Karlach paused scrunching her face to remember and snapped her fingers, "Zhentarim working with the Absolute crazies. Tav went to 'put a stop to it'. Looks personal."

Interesting, Nyx pursed her lips, "Oh, alright. So, I assume she's grabbed up everyone else for that?"

Karlach nodded, "Yeah. After Halsin and the druids went back to the Grove. Except Gale, haven't seen him yet.", she looked around.

"And you're our babysitter?", Nyx ventured with amusement in her eyes.

Karlach guffawed, "Ha! You wish! No,", she patted her chest, "Engine acting up."

Nyx frowned concerned and Karlach added, "It's okay now."

Nyx nodded and they sat in silence for a while.

 

Karlach guffawed again and Nyx looked at what triggered it. Gale had arrived as well, looking completely dishevelled, hair not even combed.

Nyx snorted, "Morning Gale, you look pretty much the way I feel."

"Oh, trust me. I feel it too", he grumbled through squinting eyes and shuffled over to the utensils. Grabbed up a bowl and grumbled again, "I'm going to wash my face", and shuffled off.

Karlach and Nyx shared a smile.

Scratch cantered over and entertained Karlach. After a while Nyx asked, "No sign of the owlbear cub?"

Karlach shook her head in disappointment, "No."

"Give it time, he's probably waiting for things to settle down a bit."

Karlach gave her a nod and a wide grin.

Gale had returned looking more like himself, except the dark circles under his eyes. He helped himself to some rations and sat on the log opposite to them. He went through the same line of questioning that Nyx had asked Karlach, who happily provided all the same detail to Gale again.

 

Gale said onto Nyx, "You were very expressive last night."

Nyx narrowed her eyes at him, she remembers some of her drug induced haze. She started to smile, "Oh, and what did I have to say?", she asked tentatively.

"It was more who it was said to, rather than what", Gale's eyes shined with mischief, "You can't remember?"

Nyx was getting suspicious now, generally speaking even if she is drugged, she tends to behave herself, but perhaps Nettie's concoction had a bigger effect on her than she realized. Nyx eyed Karlach who wore a shit-eating grin.

"Oh no, tell me what happened.", Nyx grinned sheepishly in return.

Gale provided, "Lae'zel was glaring at you more than usual and made some remark about your 'inability to control your magic'. Before Tav could even intervene, you walked right up into Lae'zel's face and told her -", Gale paused and said onto Karlach, "Karlach would you like to do the honours?"

Karlach composed herself and pointed with her clawed finger as though she were imitating Nyx's movement and intonation, "'I don't care what you think! I'm tired of your evil eye and you can go shove it!'"

Nyx blew out her cheeks and raised her eyebrows, "Very eloquent". She snickered at herself.

"It was glorious, Lae'zel had no context for the insult whatsoever. Her expression was -", Gale made a chef's kiss. "Then you turned it on Halsin", Gale started to chuckle.

Nyx placed her hand over her mouth and snorted, "Oh, no."

Karlach provided with another pointed finger at a higher angle, "'And you! Stop glaring at me like a bear with bark up his ass!'"

Nyx barked a laugh when she imagined everyone's reaction to her drug induced rant.

Gale made an appreciative sound and shook his head, "The utter shock on that huge stoic man's face." He sighed pleased.

"After that you simply waddled off to your tent like nothing even happened.", Gale continued with a smile and a gesture of his hand.

Nyx smirked looking at her feet then said, "It probably warranted saying. However, I won't be, err, indulging in Nettie's migraine remedy again. For everyone's safety."

Gale chuckled and quoted, "Astarion mentioned something along the lines of you being 'doped up on druid drugs.'"

Nyx snickered again. She could remember the entire conversation with Clive and Astarion. Fortunately, she had more control (or less) of her mouth, since most of the random things she thought and wanted to say did not reach her lips.

Thank the graces, she rubbed her eyes.

 

---

 

Nyx tried to enjoy her 'day off', but mostly went about distracting herself from the uneasy compounding knots in her stomach. She finished up personal things, patch up her armour and took stock of her pack resources. She updated her nature sketchbook with the neothelid, extracting additional information about it from Gale and Karlach.

Lae'zel had speculated that the neothelid came from the Nautiloid ship. They are a developmental aberrations of the mind flayers' lifecycle when the tadpole pools are abandoned, usually when a mind flayer colony is eradicated or has succumbed to disease. The larvae cannibalize each other and grow into a neothelid. A mindless predator that seeks out prey of higher intelligence to feed its endless hunger. They can grow even larger and more powerful than the one they'd face in the temple.

Nyx was convinced it was the culprit in the disappearance of some of the goblins, especially considering the drag marks she saw in the temple. It was likely hunting in that area, which made Nyx shudder at the realization that it could have gobbled up her brains that day should she had made it all the way down. She silently thanked Astarion again.

Nyx went through her medicinal notebooks as well trying to find anything that could potentially help Karlach, but her knowledge about infernal machinery was less than zero. She tried to look for something to help with her symptoms, but again - How does one treat the symptoms that was the result of a hellfire engine lodged in one's chest? She resigned herself to not being able to help with this problem, yet. The exercise was not entirely without benefit, she did rediscover her vast literary treasure trove of potions.

 

Tav and the others returned before nightfall with mix expressions and news. They had successfully located, infiltrated, and eliminated the Zhentarim hideout - that was the good news. However, the Inn had been attacked by the Absolutist goblins and drow, leaving few if any survivors. A small contingency of the Flaming Fist was looking for clues to their Supreme Marshall's whereabouts, who had been kidnapped on the day of the attack. Tav informed them that the Supreme Marshall was listed as a prisoner of the cult and has been taken to Moonrise Towers along with other captives. This had come as a shock for both the Flaming Fist, and Wyll, since the Supreme Marshall was both the Grand Duke Ravenguard of Baldur's Gate - and Wyll's father.

Nyx, Gale and Karlach expressed their condolences to a crestfallen, but grateful Wyll. Tav's jaw was set with determination while she mentioned that all roads were leading to Moonrise Towers.

Lae'zel also reported that she noted recent Githyanki activity near the Inn and suggested that the creche may be through the mountain pass there. Tav added that she was hoping to 'stop-off' at the creche on the way to Moonrise Towers. That garnered a disapproving Chk from Lae'zel, which Tav mostly ignored.

 

Nyx also observed that Lae'zel has not relented on her newfound distaste of Nyx. Glowers and growls have become the norm in addition to the usual evil-eye, Nyx sighed. The others took note of the escalating tension, however Tav treated Nyx the same. Nyx was grateful for that, and she could manage Lae'zel by simply ignoring her.

I'm sure Halsin would also remain wary of me. He'll deem the source of my power an affront to nature if he knew or discovered its true identity.

Nyx sighed to herself again.

It will make the return to the Grove a bit awkward, but I can just avoid him and then we'll likely never see him again anyway, she consoled herself.

 

Tav discussed with the rest that they were to return to the Grove tomorrow and then make preparations for the road to Moonrise Towers. Tav wanted to gather additional information about Moonrise Towers from Halsin. Then Tav's eyes lit up when she announced that the druids had officially invited the camp to a celebratory party once they reach the grove tomorrow night. Karlach and Wyll's whoops were joined with smiles and clapping hands from the others.

Nyx strolled up to Karlach and Wyll, "I assume this means we'll get to dance after all", she said with amusement in her eyes looking between the two.

"Fuck yes!", Karlach declared with a fist and a manic smile.

"I look forward to it", Wyll grinned and inclined his head.

 

---

 

Nyx was enjoying the breeze and the view from the natural vantage point near Moonhaven. She admired the scenery, probably for the last time. It was a beautiful clear night, and the stars were glistening gemstones in the skies. The air was still, and she heard him take a breath to speak, she half expected Astarion would make an appearance again.

"There you are, my friend!"

 

She frowned, that is not his usual greeting and she looked over her shoulder. He was leaning against a tree with a wide grin on his face and an unfamiliar twinkle in his eye.

She ventured, "Are you alright Astarion? You don't sound like yourself."

"Oh, my dear, I am practically ecstatic. You see, I found a bear.", he lulled, almost slurred even, and gestured dramatically towards the forest. She doesn't understand the significance of his statement, but she did notice claw marks along the front of his left leg.

She frowned, "That would explain the bleeding."

"Ah! That'll take care of itself, darling.", he waved dismissively, "I've had more than my fill. The bear may have taken some of my blood. But I took all of his.", followed by a chortled version of is laugh.

She smiled at him and quipped, "I do hope this is not Halsin you're referring to."

Astarion laughed more loudly than usual, "My dear, now that would have been fun."

 

Is he drunk right now? On bear blood?, Nyx wondered, So, a vampire gets drunk after over-indulging on blood?

He sauntered over to her, with a bit more sway in his step than usual. She watched with amusement as he sat down next to her.

She wasn't sure how to put it, so she settled for, "I gather it was a good meal?"

He harrumphed and made an unimpressed face at her, "My dear, good does not apply here. The bear is plonk not vintage wine, but I can do merry with both", and he stuck his nose in the air.

She set her mouth in a line and replied flatly, "Oh. I didn't realize blood was so, nuanced."

He glanced at her, "Cazador fed me rats and bugs. And when you're used to drinking from a sewer, even plonk is a marked improvement.", he made a drunk scowl at the view.

She blinked at that, and he turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

 

She said evenly, "I'm starting to think that a hot poker in the eye is far too subtle."

He laughed, "You're so sweet, my dear, which is why I much prefer your vintage", he leaned towards her and attempted to purr, but it loses a lot of its effect when he is half drunk (or whatever he is right now).

She smiled, narrowing her eyes.

His reaction after my owlbear attack makes more sense as well, and when I was practically drenched in my own blood during the goblin fight. Then, it follows that his reactions were more about the blood than anything else. She mulled, not sure what to make the new context.

He lulled, "Though, I would like to hear what other murderous intentions you have in mind for Cazador."

She grinned at him, "Oh, I'll come up with something. The more I hear of him, the more I come to detest him", and she finished genuinely, "His treatment of you is appalling."

Astarion shifted looking pensive, "He fed me just enough to keep me - well, 'alive', but never more than that.", his demeanour became dark, and he turned to her, "Detest doesn't even cover what I feel towards him." She watched him as he moved through it then he said, "Still that was the past, I'll never have to grovel for him again."

She clarified evenly, "Never? You have a plan I take it?"

He looked at her, anger flashing in his eyes and growled, "My plan, is to become powerful enough to grind Cazador to dust.", he motioned with his hands and continued more normally, "The tadpoles are the key to that, a gift. One that I intend to use to the fullest. And so should you, my dear."

She regarded him for a few heartbeats and turned her gaze back to the view. He waited expectantly.

 

She stated plainly looking at him sideways, "No, I can't do that. I can't embrace the parasite in that way."

"Why not? Power freely given is power well received, darling.”

"In my case, the risk it too high.", she shook her head, "It destabilizes my magic, and I cannot allow that to happen. Again."

His expression became thoughtful, eyebrows furrowing, and he seemed to put something together.

"I see", he looked at down at the view, "I heard when you, swore at it, on our way back to camp last night. It caused the - what did you call it?"

"Cascading", she nodded, "It interfered with my mental defences at that moment and my magic intermingled with my emotions."

"Hmmmm,", he mused with a finger on his lips, "So far my tadpole and I have been nothing, but best friends. Do take care of yourself then, darling."

Nyx snorted, amused at both the statement and the suggestion, "I'll take it under advisement.”

His eyebrows returned to their resting place, and he motioned to lie backwards on the grass staring up at the stars. She presumed he did so as his head was spinning, but decided that it looked like a splendid idea, nonetheless, especially given the evening. He eyed her with one eye as she followed suit. She was an arm's length away with her head slightly higher that his on the grass.

 

They watched the stars together then her thoughts churned once more. She remembered her companion's expressions after her cascade. They were afraid of her, of her powers.

Regardless of my warning. But what did I expect? I can't blame them for being afraid, I know full well how scary my magic could be. How much worse it could get.

This led her down an all-too familiar line of thought where she wondered whether she had finally 'overstayed' her welcome. Whether farewells were due sooner rather than later, but a tightness in her chest disagreed. She was tired of running, tired of being driven away, tired of having to keep her distance in fear of hurting those she cared about. Even if staying terrifies her, because of her unpredictable control of her magic and what it brings with it.

She wanted to stay, wanted to help even if things could become strained and awkward. Even at the risk that some of them would regard at her to be more monstrous than they'd initially assumed. For now, they all seemed fine with her presence. Lae'zel and Tav were a bit more guarded than usual, but she understands. The others treated her the same because they didn't see the cascade for themselves. And yet, Astarion saw her cascade and sought out her company, ulterior bloodlust motives aside. She glanced at him.

 

She wasn't sure whether he was trancing or not, given that he doesn't even breathe.

He lulled with his eyes closed, "I can practically hear your gears grinding in your head, my dear."

She snorted and smiled, "I wanted to say that I appreciate you treating me the same as usual. Even after the cascade."

He remained silent for a moment then lilted, "You are no different to the way you were before, my dear. Although, your drug escapade was rather entertaining", and she could hear the grin in his voice.

She chuckled at that, and he continued, "Besides, darling, you did not hold my nature against me after finding out what I was. So, I don't see any problem with yours."

She was taken aback by his unexpectedly kind words, maybe it's the blood intoxication speaking, but nonetheless surprising, and welcome. She shifted, "Thank you."

He made a noise of affirmation in the back of his throat.

She regarded him out of the corner of her eye and something inexplicable stirred in her chest. For reasons unbeknownst to her she wanted to reach out to him, despite her mind cautioning against it. She is aware of his general aversion to touch. So, she thought it more appropriate to ask instead.

"Astarion", she started. He 'hmmed' at her.

"May I", she felt incredibly silly, but something in her just barrelled on through with the question, "Touch your hair?"

 

He was silent for a long time. Fortunately, she had done several rounds of meditation during the day, so her magic and emotions were steady, otherwise she's sure she would have been blushing like a teenager again. She took the silence as a 'no' and respected that. Then he spoke without show, and simply said, "Yes."

She moved her hand slowly and stroked his hair, combing it through with her fingers. At first he tensed, but the tension gradually eased while she continued. Her fingers ensnared some leaves in the process. She smiled to herself, His tussle with the not-Halsin bear. She combed them out and brushed her fingers with the lightest of touch over his scalp. He sighed and closed his eyes. Thinking on that for a moment, she honestly enjoyed it too. She's trying hard not to think about the implications of what's she's doing and simply going with the moment. She did, however, wonder whether he can even remember what tenderness feels like after his abuse.

She realizes she doesn't even know how long he had been tormented by Cazador. His emotions bubble very quickly to the surface during those moments when he refers to Cazador even with his restraint. She wasn't going to ask him how long it had been. Not right now in any case, but she understands. She had to deal with the monsters, and the consequences, her magic brought on after all.

 

There are things she can do to help... to help. My friend? It was strange for her to consider a vampire spawn a friend. But then again, she too can be misconstrued as a monster. So, who is she to judge whom monsters would consider friends.

How would monsters help their friends? Keetjah mentioned that people see monsters in others that they don't understand. Those who don't conform. Individuals who dance at the fringes of society.

Nyx had asked her why she helped her to gain control over her magic at the cost of her own safety (and potentially the rest of the nomad caravan),

"Because I too was once branded a monster by my own people. I left and now I help the unwanted and lost to see that they are not. They are simply different. Different, but not deficient. And certainly not undeserving of help or love."

Both Keetjah and Sakani had shown Nyx that small things matter - and it doesn't need to be anything more than that. She combs her fingers through his thin hair one last time and retrieves her hand. His eyes open and he shifts, briefly glancing at her hand, and then looking back up at the stars. She closed her eyes and listened to the forest.

 

---

 

After a while he spoke.

"I actually came here to ask you something.", he paused and lulled sounding more like himself albeit a bit unsure, "Your help."

Nyx raised her eyebrows in the dark and turned her head.

"It sounds serious."

He chuckled, "Hardly, it will be fun, my dear.", his telltale grin spreading on his face.

"I feel like I should be concerned about where this is heading.", she smiled, amusement in her voice, "What do you need?"

"You remember that book we found. In the necromancer’s lair?"

"The creepy one? Yes, how could I forget.", she quipped and asked incredulously, "You still have it?"

"Yes, darling. I may have found a way to open it, but I need your help getting to its keystone."

"Keystone?", she scrunched her face in the dark.

He glanced at her, huffing feigned annoyance at her insistence for more detail and lulled, "A magical gemstone that fits into its gaping maw."

"Oh", she responded and followed up with more questions in a suspicious tone, "So, you know where it is?.. How did you find out where it was?"

Astarion answered and she could hear the mild irk in his voice, "It was in one of the necromancer's journals and I went to have a look while Karlach and company were out searching for the infernal metal or whatever."

"Aah, so that's where you disappeared to. I knew you were up to something. Again."

"Little old me? Perish the thought, my dear", he lilted feigned offense at her.

She snorted and asked, "Why do you even want to open it? It felt dangerous, let alone looked the part."

 

He shifted uncomfortably and she watched him wrestle out the words.

"I'm hoping it could help me against Cazador.", he said and fidgeted at the confession.

She considered that for a moment.

Dangerous would be exactly what he needed in that case, she conceded and said in a light tone, "Alright, I'm game."

Astarion turned his head and grinned at her slyly, "You may have agreed too quickly, my dear. It is guarded by a mob of phase spiders."

"Wow", she managed then narrowed her eyes thinking.

He lilted after a few heartbeats, "Already devising a plan, darling?"

She shifted to a more comfortable position, running through some of the things she knew of phase spiders in her head.

He probed, "I do hope so. I would be most disappointed otherwise."

She turned her head to him, "I may have an idea."

"I can't wait to hear it", he said with that wicked grin of his.

She returned a sly smile of her own, "I'll have to confirm a few things in my notes first", she moved to get up and grinned, "It'll be fun."

Astarion declared how dull he thinks her response was by sighing dramatically. He waved at her dismissively from the ground with his eyes closed, "See you soon then, darling."

She frowned down at him, He looks like he is planning to stay right there and 'trancing' his, err, blood hangover off?

"Meet you at the blacksmith's then?"

He hmmed at her.

She saw herself back to camp to gear up and check what she had on hand in such short notice.

What have I gotten myself into this time?

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