July 16, 2023

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I am returning to church for the first time today.

I bought a star of David necklace before I came.

I wear it like a shield,

though I know no one here will proselytize.

I wear it anyway. Just in case.

Like a sign.

I am converting to Judiasm.

You can't convert me back.

I am a stranger now.

 

I am a stranger now.

The pew feels stiff under me.

The stained glass windows, still beautiful,

don't let in the type of light I see at synagogue.

The hymns, still familiar,

don't hold the same weight.

The inspirational video in the middle of service

still makes me giggle.

It looks like a film trailer.

I guess some things don't change.

 

Some things don't change.

The choir members greet me with hugs and kisses.

They ask if I'll come back again, just to sing.

I let try to let them down easy.

Probably not.

Fair, the director jokes,

We don't sing a lot of songs in Hebrew.

But maybe I will come back to sing,

I tell myself. They could use the voices.

Then I drive home, everything forgotten.

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