Chapter 7: Alive and Dead, but not Undead

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I find the Elder near the monument under which Rai'in children are buried. He's sitting on a flat stone, meditating, when he hears me approach and opens his eyes.

"You're here. Please, take a seat, we have much to discuss."

As much as I would love sitting on the ground, as it would remind me of my time in school, I don't want to dirty my mother's dress. I find another flat stone to sit on, then wait for the Elder to speak.

He starts by looking at me for a minute or two. He seems to be analyzing every bit of my body, possibly to compare what he sees to what he heard a Rai'ire is supposed to look like.

Once he's done, he says:

"Despite my old age, this is my first time meeting a Rai'ire. Everything I know about them, I know from the legends that were passed down through generations. Of course, I assume you've at least heard of them before as well."

"Yes, I heard that they can travel between this world and the afterlife and help bring the souls of the departed over there."

"That is indeed the most commonly held belief about them. They're shepherds of souls, and by being both alive and dead at once, they can freely cross the veil between this world and the next. Skull Ravens serve them, and they're powerful spellcasters who innately know magics that govern life and death."

"Mmmmh... But I don't feel much different from before my transformation. I don't have the first idea of how I'd reach the world of the dead, I don't know how to give orders to a Skull Raven, and I have no clue how to go about shepherding a soul."

"Yes, well, you've only been a Rai'ire for a short time, and while legends and beliefs tend to originate from something true, they often become distorted beyond recognition. I'm afraid it falls on you to separate fact from fiction and uncover the nuggets of wisdom that are to be found in those tales."

So I'm in mostly unknown territory. The spell I managed to cast before my transformation, Rot, is probably linked to my powers as a Rai'ire. It does feel like something that would be connected to life and death, even if I didn't get to see its effect when I used it.

"How long has it been since there last was a Rai'ire?"

"I honestly do not know. Legends say anywhere between three and eight centuries. While the exact frequency at which they appear is unknown, it is needless to say that they're quite rare. To my knowledge, no two Rai'ire ever existed at the same time."

"Is it simply a random process that makes it so one appears from time to time?"

"We are unsure. Do you know why we transform the way we do?"

"I never really thought about it. I just assumed it was natural."

"Well, it is part of our nature now, but this wasn't always the case. Long ago, we were much like non-monster races. We would be born, age, and die without ever going through the transformation that's so important to our way of life now. Due to this, we were weak. Unlike humans, elves, dwarves, and so on, our bodies were unable to change to adapt to an increase in magical power. This is something that was true of all monster races."

I remember learning about that. As the Hero, I went through intense training to improve how much magical energy my body could contain. Since I was using part of that magic to improve my physical abilities, it brought about minor changes to my physical appearance. Monsters, on the other hand, change to a more powerful form once they reach certain thresholds, causing their appearance to remain mostly static until they transform. I was not aware that monsters used to be unable to do that. The Elder continues:

"The transformation process all monsters now have access to was the first Monster King's solution to this problem. Through means lost to time, he cast a massive spell on all of his subjects, fundamentally altering the way their body processed magical power. Due to the nature of the spell, he could not finely control how each people would be affected, so he did not create our new forms, they simply resulted from factors we still do not quite understand. The Rai'ire are a result of that spell, they did not exist prior to it."

I know that the first Monster King showed up thousands of years ago now, but it's incredible to think that a spell cast by one man could fundamentally alter the lives and cultures of so many people forever.

"In that case, a new Rai'ire appearing likely isn't random. Some kind of condition must be met that causes the transformation into a different variant of the Rai'in."

"That is the most likely explanation, yes. As they grow, our children slowly accumulate magical energy. Once they have enough, they become adults, causing their power to increase exponentially. This path is practically unavoidable, and is thus extremely common. The Rai'ire are an alternate path that can be taken, but the conditions to walk it are unclear. According to legends, a Rai'ire is born when 'a Rai'in tastes death without succumbing to it'. From this saying originate the beliefs stating that they're actually undead, but your heart still beats, proving this assertion false."

Tasting death without succumbing to it? Either the grievous injuries I sustained underground counted, or the fact that I already died once means I was always going to end up this way.

"It's not much of a clue, and I'm unsure of how it relates to any of what I went through."

"Indeed. This is one of the reasons the Rai'ire are such a mystery, causing many myths and legends to form around them. Whatever the truth may be, you will be treated as an emissary of death and a guide to the souls of the departed by all the Rai'in you meet. I must ask that you refrain from abusing the power this may grant you over others."

"Of course! I would never dare."

"Very good. There is little else for me to teach you about your new self. Should your desire for answers ever take you on a journey out of the village, know that you have my blessing to leave at any time. Make sure to properly say goodbye, however."

I nod, then look at my body again.

An emissary of death and a shepherd of souls. What truth inspired these statements? What kind of powers can I expect to gain access to now that I've become a Rai'ire?

A smile forms on my lips. There's something exciting about this. As the Hero, my path was already set for me. The Church determined what I had to learn, and all of my powers were the ones deemed "heroic" enough to be wielded by the defender of all civilized races. This time, I get to figure things out as I go, and learn what I want. I'm looking forward to it.

 

It's almost night time when I leave the sanctuary. I start walking towards my house, but then decide to do a little detour. I head to the small field in which we receive combat training.

I enter the small cabin near it, the one in which we store the blunt practice weapons. I grab a sword, then walk to the middle of the field, where I try to repeat some of the movements the teacher had me learn using a stick. As I do, I feel some memories of my time as the Hero resurface. The lessons I received, the maneuvers I learned, my method to improve my reflexes... By focusing on them, I can teach this body to fight. They're incomplete, I can tell I forgot most of it, but I should be able to supplement them with the Rai'in's techniques.

I spend at least an hour getting my new body used to holding and moving a sword. I won't hold the class back anymore. Now that I'm an adult, I'll show them what I'm truly capable of. At long last, I can fight, I can defend myself, and I can defend others. I finally feel confident that I'll be able to get through whatever awaits me in the future.

 

The next day, after waking up, I find myself unsure of how to adjust my morning routine to this new body. My hair got a lot longer, so I should at the very least brush it, right? Cutting it is an option, but it is very pretty, so I think I'll keep it like this.

I get up and go wash my face. My hair is getting in the way, so I find some ribbon to tie it back with. I struggle a bit to get it to hold properly, and eventually just give up. I managed to get it to hold just well enough for me to wash my face, so I'll leave it like that and undo it after.

Once I'm done, I grab a brush and make sure to fix the knots in my hair. After taking care of that, I join my parents for breakfast. My mother comments on my hair, praising how quickly I got the hang of taking care of it, which makes me unexpectedly happy. As we're eating, someone rings the bell at our door. We drop the ladder to let the Rai'enu in, who says:

"I'm simply here to deliver a message. Ai'erina, we've extracted the carcass of the monster you presumably killed from the cavern you were in. We would like for you to come and inspect it, and decide what to make with it. The Elder insisted that we treat you as the one who hunted it."

From what I learned, when a Rai'in manages to kill a powerful monster, they get to pick how the body will be used. Some monsters make good armor, others have highly conductive materials attached to their body that's useful for making magic weapons. Others aren't used for much more than clothes or decoration, but they still showcase a hunter's skill.

My mom looks at me and says:

"This could be a good opportunity to get some special clothes made at your new size. Let's go check it out after breakfast."

I nod, then turn towards the messenger:

"I'll be there soon, you can go ahead."

 

I ended up wearing the same dress as yesterday, and since it's early in the morning and a lot more people are outside, I can tell I'm attracting a lot of attention. I'd like to believe it's because of how beautiful I am, but realistically, it's just because my skin became a very unusual color.

Once we reach the part of the village where animal and monster bodies are processed, I finally see, for the first time, the creature that tried to eat me... or at least, what's left of it.

Despite the fact that it hasn't been that long, the head completely rotted away. The rest of the body looks relatively fresh, so I wonder if the accelerated rotting was caused by the spell I cast. That must be it, right?

The monster is quadrupedal, with a body shape slightly reminiscent of a feline creature. However, it's covered in brown earth-like scales and has large front claws that seem specifically meant to help dig in the dirt, along with a tail far larger than any cat would ever have. Its back legs look strong, which is likely what allowed it to close the gap between me and the canyon wall at first, and to then pounce in my direction when we fought underground. Without its head, however, it's hard to tell what kind of creature it is. It's also entirely possible that this simply isn't something I met as the Hero, in which case I wouldn't be able to recognize it anyway.

The Elder approaches and says:

"This is a type of Earth Wyrm, a distant relative of the Earth Dragon. While it's nowhere near as powerful as its legendary cousin, it's still incredible that you managed to defeat one. However..."

He looks at the missing head and the rotten neck stump before continuing:

"... What kind of spell did you even use on the poor thing?"

"I... don't really know myself. While I was struggling against it, I just felt like I should cast it."

"As far as we can tell, it caused part of its body to very quickly rot away. If it was still alive when that happened, it must have been extremely painful."

"I had lost both an arm and a leg by that point, I was getting desperate."

"I understand. This simply showcases how terrifying the powers of a Rai'ire can be."

But... I wasn't a Rai'ire yet when I cast it. Should I tell him, or would that simply cause further confusion? I decide to remain silent, now probably isn't the time. The Elder continues:

"Now, what would you like to get from this body? With the scales, we can make armor, arrow tips, medicine, or various pieces of jewelry, although their color makes them less suited for that purpose. With the claws, blades for various tools, small weapons, and decorative elements. With the bones, arrow tips, tools, weapons, your options are many."

I take some time to think about it. I doubt I can use that entire body all for myself, there's too much material, so I'll have a discussion with the other villagers about sharing it. However, getting an armor made with the scales, along with some bone arrow tips, would allow me to feel more confident about going out into the world if I ever need to. As Hero, I had a special set of sacred plate armor given to me by the Church, but I also had a lightweight chain shirt to keep under my travel clothes most of the time. This could serve the same purpose.

"I'd like to get some armor from those scales, and some arrow tips from the bones. As for the rest... I would like to share with the village. What would be most needed?"

 

We then spend a few hours discussing this, going around the village and asking questions, and figuring out how to best distribute such a rare creature. By the time we're done, I'm exhausted. It didn't help that most people stared at me the entire time, which made me pretty uncomfortable. Can't blame them, it's the first time they see a Rai'ire, but I still hope they don't take too long to get used to my new appearance.

I let myself fall down on a large root under a tree to get a bit of rest. At least we have a solid plan for how to use the body. We'll make medicine to store for later, and we'll distribute tools around for our artisans. I myself will get a woodcarving knife made from one of the claws, which should be able to keep its edge for a very long time.

As the branches above me dance in the wind, sun rays pass through the leaves and gently touch my face and arms. I didn't really get any time to think about it, but... I'm alive! And I'm not just thinking about that little underground adventure with the Wyrm. As a human, I risked my life so many times, and did end up dying at the hand of the Monster King. Then, I was reborn as a monster, where I was still in danger. I could have died from a famine or drought, like Falie, or from a wild beast mauling me to death. I could have gotten lost in the woods, or fell off a cliff. But despite all of this, I'm alive.

And now, I'm some mystical being who's considered inherently tied to the concept of death itself. I guess that's fitting, seeing as I already died once, but it does make me wonder if I can truly be considered alive. Well, I certainly am not undead, at the very least.

I close my eyes and let the sounds and smells of the forest relax me. With the memories of my human childhood slowly fading, I can't help but think of this village as my true home, the place where I really grew up. I'm not sure of when exactly this happened, but at some point, I stopped thinking of myself as a human in a Rai'in's body, and instead started seeing myself as a Rai'in with a human's memories. Of course, these memories are entirely mine, and my personality hasn't changed, but... My previous life now feels like it was merely a prelude to this one. This is where I was always meant to end up.

Still, I miss my old family. They wouldn't be able to recognize me if I simply visited them, and they would think I'm here to play with their feelings if I told them who I am... Or maybe not. It's been over eight years now since the Hero and the Monster King killed each other in battle, there's no telling how they would react. It's probably better if I give up on seeing them again, and instead focus on the people I love here, in this village.

I hear footsteps approach. I open my eyes and raise my head to see Xarem standing near me. He's smiling and holding a white flower in his hand.

"Hey, Erina. I saw you resting here and I thought I'd come say a word."

I smile back and, with a movement of my hand, invite him to sit next to me.

"Were you busy this morning? I ended up going around the village at least three times, but I didn't see you once."

"Ah, yes, my parents needed me to take care of some things at home, and then I had to go out in the forest to gather wood, along with some ingredients for tonight. Oh, while I was out, I found this flower, and it... It reminded me of you, so I picked it up."

As he says that, he hands it to me. Nobody ever gave me a flower before, that's so sweet of him! It has long white petals drooping downward and vaguely forming the shape of a bell, and I feel a pleasant smell emanate from it when I bring it close to my nose.

"Thanks, that's very kind of you. But shouldn't you focus on giving flowers and gifts to the Rai'ila you want to make your life partner? There has to be someone you're interested in, right? Oh, what about Ai'vi? I saw you stealing glances at her in class, and she is very cute."

He laughs nervously before saying:

"No, I've never really been interested in her. I like the way she looks, but it stops there. I have someone in mind, though, but it's a very recent development."

"Oooh, so you just fell in love? Who's the lucky gal?"

"I'm not telling you! I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough, anyway."

"I see. I accept the challenge! Just let me know if you need any help."

"Ah, uh... Yeah, of course."

I'm amused by his response. I guess love wasn't something we were preoccupied with as children, so we find ourselves with little knowledge or idea of how to go about it now. Maybe that's why he's being so shy.

I look at the sky and notice that it's the middle of the day already.

"I should probably head back, it's almost time to eat. I'll see you around, then!"

"Okay, take care. See you tomorrow at the training ground."

I get up, remove the fallen leaves and bits of bark stuck to my dress, then start walking home.

Mmmmh... Dress? Oh, right, I'm a Rai'ila now, so I'm wearing one.

Wait... I only recently became like this, and Xarem said he just fell in love. Could it be... No, there's no way. It must just be a coincidence. Although...

I start imagining him holding me gently and kissing me, or playing with my hair, or carrying me in the bedroom, where he starts slowly removing my clothes...

My face turns extremely hot, and I chase that image away. I can't have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend! I already said I'd help him get with whoever he's pursuing, I must respect his decision and not let my own feelings get in the way.

As I walk through the village, I find myself wondering who I could possibly end up with.


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