04 November 2004 – Martin Army Community Hospital, Fort Benning, Georgia

Jeff Knox lay in his hospital bed, alone in his room, for three days after his return to Georgia. Keiko returned to Lancaster when he left Germany. This hospital carried the same faint antiseptic smell as others he’d been in over the years. Even with a combined five days of regular, reliable access to American cable transmissions, Jeff still played catch-up with current events outside the war zone. He hadn’t had time to care while he was deployed.

Boston reveled in its post-championship hangover. Here it was a week after the end of the 2004 World Series and today they again replayed the city’s victory parade highlights on Sports Night in the Daylight. Jeff shook his head. He missed the single most important Boston sports happening of all time, the one literally millions of Red Sox Fans waited all their lives hoping to see, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

He tried to be excited by the win, to share in the joy he saw on the television, but couldn’t find those emotions within himself at the moment. He felt empty. He knew he was tired of seeing the same stories on Sports Night every hour, too.

He was bored out of his mind.

Jeff’s external fixator surrounded his right lower leg from above his ankle to below his knee. That leg was elevated to keep post-operation swelling down. Doctors in Germany made sure the combat support hospital set and pinned his broken tibia properly. They also monitored the jagged, closed tears in his leg where bone fragments punctured the skin for signs of infection. Jeff successfully argued for plain ibuprofen as his pain medicine of choice, further combatting his swelling and preventing routine administration of opioids. The last thing Jeff needed was to develop an addiction, especially when he wanted to return to EMS.

Doctors here used more X-rays and tests to eliminate any worry about damage to the bones in his left leg. A neoprene ankle brace replaced the half-cast in supporting the injured joint when he did his rehab. Despite his cracked ribs and current inability to bear weight on his right leg, Rehabilitation Services hadn’t cut him any slack. His physical therapist still put him through his paces over the two full days he’d been in her care.

Because of his concussion she introduced Jeff to exercises he could do in his room without going to the hospital gym, and without putting any pressure on his lower leg. His upper body now protested the abuse with every move he tried to make today. If all went according to plan the external fixator would be removed from his leg in six weeks. Then he could begin rehab in earnest.

The lights in his room were off and his blinds closed due to his concussion, his door was closed for the same reason. His headache was still there, though at a lower level than when he woke in Germany. He really shouldn’t be watching television, either. The light and sound caused small increases in his pain. He’d been frustrated by the continued pain when he first arrived, and mentioned that to his neurologist the first time she came to check on him.

“Sergeant, you bruised your brain,” she said then. “It’s going to take a little bit for that headache to go away, hopefully less than a week.”

“A week,” he grumbled to himself at that memory.

Jeff heard they planned to keep him here for his rehab and not release him back to his unit or home until he completed it. With the length of time he needed to rehab before a return to Ranger standards could be attempted Jeff worried he’d be dropped from the Regiment. He hoped to recover quickly enough and well enough to continue as a field medic, Ranger or no – mostly, that is. As with the Red Sox victory, a part of him didn’t care. Rehab wouldn’t be anything Donovan Army Community Hospital at Fort Devens couldn’t handle, even on an outpatient basis. In that case, maybe he could convince the Army to let him rehab there. Jeff needed to find someone who could see the logic of freeing up a bed and improving his morale by sending him home.

Still bored he drifted off to sleep.

Hours later he woke to the sound of a large group in the hall. They obviously hadn’t gotten the memo about being quiet in hospitals. The noise they made seemed to wax and wane while he listened and did little to improve his headache. Jeff guessed the group was moving in and out of the rooms on the floor. Housed in the last room on the hall, he stared at the ceiling, waiting.

Jeff waited fifteen minutes for the VIPs to enter. He heard the throng stop outside his door while one of their number explained something, then the colonel of the 75th Ranger Regiment and one other officer came in. Jeff pasted a smile on his face while the colonel hoped out loud for Jeff’s quick return to 3d Battalion. Again, Jeff wasn’t sure he cared either way. The colonel pinned medals and badges to his hospital gown. Through his disinterest Jeff recognized the other officer as someone else from his past.

“Colonel Paradise? We’ve gotta stop meeting like this, ma’am.”

She blinked at him. “Who...?”

“You were one of my nurses at Walter Reed after I was wounded in Panama, ma’am. Jeff Knox from the 82d. I was admitted there as a corporal but discharged as a sergeant.”

“Sergeant Knox!” she smiled. “That’s why your name looked so familiar! I’d ask how you are, but since you’re here that seems like a silly question.” Tara Paradise pulled up a chair for herself and Colonel Aslanian. “You stayed in, too?”

“No, I got out after I got back from the Gulf in ‘91, ma’am. My best friend died over there and I didn’t want to stay in any longer. I went home, became a paramedic, husband, and father. I was half-finished with my MBA when the towers came down, and reenlisted right after.”

“So, you’re one of Colonel Aslanian’s men in 3d Battalion here at Benning?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m a medic with 2d Platoon, Bravo Company. I’m hoping I’ll recover quickly enough to get back to my platoon. If I don’t, I hope I can still be a field medic if the Regiment has to release me.” He shrugged. “I belong to the Army for about another year.”

“When’s your ETS date?” Colonel Aslanian asked.

“05 October of next year, sir.”

“You should recover in – what? – two months or so?” Colonel Paradise asked.

“The bones themselves should recover by then, yes ma’am, as long as everything goes well. We’ll have to see about the rest of my rehab. The twenty-six months I owe the Ranger Regiment would have expired at the end of next June had I not been wounded. I’ve got a little bit of a cushion there.”

“Has your family been by to see you yet?” Greg Aslanian asked.

“My wife visited me while I was at Landstuhl, sir, but she’s back home now. They stayed there when I joined back up. There’d have been too much moving around for our young kids. Our twin boys were four and a half and our daughter three when I reenlisted.”

“Where’s home?”

“Central Massachusetts, sir. A quiet, little town called Lancaster. My house is less than ten miles from Fort Devens and Donovan Army Community Hospital.”

“Has anyone mentioned when you’ll be going on your convalescent leave now that you’re back CONUS?”

“Not yet, ma’am. What I’d really like is to rehab back in Massachusetts and live at home, if that’s at all possible.”

“I don’t know much about the services they have available at Devens. Do you think they would they be able to get you moving in the direction you need to go?”

“My ambulance company contracted to provide paramedics to Fort Devens before I reenlisted, ma’am. The previous base hospital, Cutler Army Hospital, had a good rehab department then and I can’t imagine they didn’t move to the new hospital once it was completed.”

“Would you be able to get over there to use their gym regularly? Would you be able to drive there if you couldn’t get a ride?”

“My in-laws live next door, so I’m sure I could get over there with their help so long as we plan properly. Also, I can do whatever exercises Donovan wants me to do in the gym at my house if I can’t get there.”

“You have a gym at your house?”

“With a sparring mat my wife and I used almost every day.” Colonel Paradise raised an eyebrow. “Karate, ma’am. Keiko is a fifth-dan black belt. I reached second-dan before the attacks. If the rehab department tells me what to do on which machines or on the mat, they’ll get done.”

The colonels looked at each other.

“It’s fine with me,” Greg Aslanian said. “Sergeant Knox’s battalion won’t be home for another six or seven months at the earliest, and due to his injuries they’ve already assigned his platoon another medic. Unless I’m mistaken I’m sure the sergeant would be happier at home with his family while he recovers.”

“You can take that to the bank, sir.”

“I’ll sign off on it, Tara.”

Tara looked at her counterpart before turning back to Jeff.

“Give me a couple of days to look into this for you, Sergeant. Do you need anything in the meantime?”

“No, thanks, ma’am.”

True to her word Colonel Paradise worked on Jeff’s request the following day. She picked up the phone in her office and dialed a number from her rolodex.

“Paulo? Tara Paradise ... I’m about to ask you for a favor. Why else would I be calling you, you skirt-chasing Eyetalian? ... Promises, promises. Here’s the favor...” Tara explained what she hoped to arrange. “Can you sign off on that? ... What about the last part? It might be time for him to ETS before he’s ready, depending on how long it takes him to fully rehab that leg ... You’re the best, Nose...” Tara blushed at whatever her counterpart said next. “That might be arranged ... Absolutely ... Thanks, Paulo.” She smiled as she hung up the phone.

A still smiling Tara Paradise knocked softly on Jeff’s door a few minutes after her phone call. He waved her in.

“It’ll take a couple more days to arrange, Sergeant, but I’m having you transferred to Donovan. You’ll have to sign in as a patient when you get there, but you won’t have to stay even a single night. The hospital commander there, Colonel Iannazzone, will make sure of it.”

“Thank you very much, ma’am.”

Tara waved off the thanks.

“What good is being a hospital commander if you can’t actually wield the authority they delegate to you? Anyway, I’ll need to confirm your address to arrange for the ambulance ride back to your house.”

“I think I might have that covered, ma’am.”

The C-17 bumped down on the runway, but not violently so. From his stretcher’s position in the cargo hold Jeff couldn’t see anything but blue sky out the aircraft’s open cargo ramp. His nurse took off the headset which had protected his hearing during the four-hour flight. Because of his concussion she also gave him another pair of those butt-ugly sunglasses that looked like safety glasses. As one of the less-severely injured patients he would be one of the last to be carried off. The Air Force major gave him a withering gaze when he offered to walk off the plane on his crutches.

Jeff looked around the airfield while he they carried him to a waiting Army medical helicopter. The foliage on the trees outside the fence line was gone by this time in the fall. Their bare branches waved in the cold wind. Despite the chill the bright sunshine caused the air above the tarmac to shimmer with rising heat. The chopper’s crew chief and flight medic shook his hand and welcomed him home once in the aircraft.

“Once we lift it’s only about a ten minute flight to Devens, so no in-flight movie or meal this time,” the medic said over the aircraft headset.

“I’ll try to contain my disappointment,” Jeff replied with a smile. “Once we land I’ll be about seven miles from my house, and less than that to where my wife works and my kids are in school. That’s WAY better than seven thousand!”

“We’re glad this training flight is more than just training, then. Got any plans for your homecoming?”

“Not sure. My family doesn’t know I’m coming home yet.” The medic smiled at what his family’s reaction would probably be.

As promised the flight from Hanscom Air Force Base to Moore Army Airfield at Fort Devens took about ten minutes. The medic had him scoot to the edge of the helicopter while a soldier escorted someone across the tarmac. That someone wore a Brophy EMS uniform and pushed a wheelchair in front of him as he approached. Jeff broke into a smile when he recognized the Brophy employee and hopped over to him on his good leg. It was difficult to know who hugged whom harder – Jeff or Sean Brophy.

“Goddamn it’s good to see you, Jeff!” Sean said, slapping Jeff on the back.

“You, too, buddy. You, too. How’s the family?”

“Good. No changes since we spoke last week.”

“You were able to keep this quiet?”

“Completely. No one else knows you’re home. Do you have your paperwork for the colonel here?”

Jeff looked over to discover the ‘soldier’ was Colonel Iannazzone himself. He’d been too focused on his friend. Jeff drew himself to the best position of attention he could manage and saluted.

“At ease, Sergeant.” Paulo Iannazzone held out his hand after returning the salute. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you very much, sir.”

“Sign this form here, hand me your packet from Martin, and you’re free to go, Sergeant. Where are you surprising your family?”

“My wife works at Devens Regional High School, sir, so that’s the first big stop. After that I’m guessing we’ll drive to Lancaster and the school where our three kids are.”

“Not far at all then. You’re all set as far as Donovan Army Community Hospital is concerned. Check in with Rehab Services by close of business Friday.”

“Wilco, sir.”

“Mr. Brophy, you can leave the wheelchair in the Ops Building and I’ll see it gets back to the hospital. Fall out, Sergeant!”

Jeff snapped to attention and barked, “Rangers lead the way, sir!”

Sean and Jeff detoured to the Ops Building first so Jeff could change. He flew up in his BDUs but brought his Class-As with him, the trousers having been modified to fit over the fixator on his right leg. He cut a dashing figure when he emerged from the room where he changed.

“All set?” Sean asked after helping Jeff into the Brophy supervisor’s SUV, glancing at the newly-returned sergeant in the rear seat. Jeff needed to keep his leg elevated as much as possible.

“Yep. Gotta make one phone call, one stop, and then we’ll be all set to head to the school.”

“Let’s go!”

“Thanks for agreeing to this, Carl.”

“Are you kidding? Geez, I’d have to be the biggest Grinch ever to say no!”

The rubber ends of Jeff’s crutches squeaked on the vinyl flooring in the hall.

“Still, I can’t imagine it’ll be easy to get a sub at this point in the school day.”

“Won’t need to,” Principal Carl Hammond said. “She’s only got one other class scheduled today and I’ll cover it. I feel an in-class writing assignment coming: ‘Tell me what your family means to you.’”

“Ugh. That’s cruel.”

“Maybe so,” Carl chuckled. “Maybe so. Okay, you guys wait here and I’ll...”

The din of the lunchroom assaulted Carl’s ears as soon as he opened the door. He nodded to students here and there while walking to the back corner of the room. There he extracted a key from his pocket and unlocked the audio-visual closet. Noting where his target lay, he picked up the wireless microphone and turned it on.

“Everyone! May I have your attention, please?”

Even with the speakers in the room he could barely be heard above the noise. He thumped the mic with his fingers a few times to get people’s attention. The noise died away quickly.

“Thank you, everybody, I’ll be brief.” Scattered applause rose in response to his assertion, only to die away as quickly. “Where’s Mrs. Knox? Come on over here, Keiko.” Keiko walked over hesitantly, unsure of what was going on. When she stood next to him Carl continued.

“As you all know Mrs. Knox’s husband, Army Staff Sergeant Jeff Knox, deployed to Afghanistan last year. It’s likely also well known that he was wounded in action two weeks ago. That’s where Mrs. Knox was last week – visiting him at his hospital in Germany. The good news is he has already transferred to a military hospital here in the US and will recover fully.” More genuine and sustained applause rose this time.

“Well, Keiko, Jeff arranged to have some flowers sent.” On cue the far doors to the cafeteria opened. In walked Sean Brophy carrying a large arrangement of roses. She smiled as her family friend approached, gave her a hug and a kiss, and stood next to her. “Of course, he wanted to make sure they arrived in good order, so he also arranged for someone to verify they’ve been delivered.”

The far doors opened again, this time revealing Jeff on his crutches. Keiko cried out and burst into tears but stood rooted to the spot. She turned and buried her face in Sean’s shoulder while Jeff approached. The students, realizing who stood in the doorway, broke out in thunderous applause.

“Please welcome home Staff Sergeant Jeff Knox, everyone!”

Keiko released Sean and flew down the aisle of the cafeteria. She crashed into Jeff, still sobbing in surprise and joy. Jeff managed to move the crutches just before impact and held them out away from himself. One of the students reached out to hold them for him. Jeff nodded his thanks to her and turned his attention back to his wife.

Tears of happiness streamed down Keiko’s face as Jeff cupped it and kissed her. After six months apart their kiss was as electric as their first had been. He hadn’t really been ‘home’ when she visited him in Germany. Jeff lost track of how long they stood there kissing, but the students were still applauding when he looked up.

“Honey? I’m home,” he whispered.

“You know I dislike surprises, Jeffrey,” she said with a smile while wiping the tears from her cheeks. “You should tell Carl and Sean to run because I may kill them for helping you with this.”

“Can you wait until one of them carries the flowers to the Suburban first? I can’t do that while using my crutches.”

Sabrina Knox worked on a drawing in the First Grade classroom of Lancaster’s Mary Rowlandson Elementary School. She already had her lunch period, which was followed by recess, and now had two hours of school left. She’d wait in the school library after school with Alex and Ryan for their mother to pick them up for their 3:45 karate lesson.

She tried to keep her mind on the drawing in front of her but it kept wandering today. She thought of her father and hoped he was doing all right. Mommy cried the day she told her and the boys Daddy’d been hurt. Sabrina didn’t like seeing Mommy cry. She heard the classroom door open behind her but kept working. She also noticed a funny, squeaking sound while she drew.

“Princess?”

Sabrina thought she heard her father’s voice. She raised her head, shook it after a brief pause, and went back to the drawing. Her mother reminded her many times during this deployment that her father was seven thousand miles from Lancaster. Now he was back in the country but would still be on his base in Georgia for a while. She wanted to see him, but her mother told her he was in the hospital and Sabrina wouldn’t want to see that. Seconds later she felt someone tap on her shoulder.

“Princess?” the same familiar voice asked again.

Sabrina dropped her colored pencil and spun around. There was her father grinning down at her wearing his green uniform and tan beret.

“Hi, Princess,” he whispered, eyes watering.

“Daddy?” she gasped. He nodded and smiled. “DADDY!” She sprang from her chair, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. She began to laugh, laughter which shifted to sobs of relief. “Daddy,” she whispered over and over while she cried. “My Daddy’s home!” she yelled.

Her classmates broke into applause which mirrored the earlier ovation at the high school. Keiko, standing behind Jeff, smiled at their daughter’s reaction with tears again falling from her own eyes. Uncle Sean looked like he had tears in his eyes, too. With Jeff still holding Sabrina he straightened up, lifted her off the ground, and hugged her tight.

“My Little Girl, my Princess,” he whispered. He hugged her again, kissed her forehead, and put her down. Sabrina put her hands on her hips.

“Daddy, what did you do?” She pointed to her father’s leg while her mother handed him his crutches back. “Mommy told you to be careful!”

“Me? I was being careful, Sabrina. I didn’t do anything.”

“You hurt yourself!” she protested.

“Princess, I already had this discussion with your mother on the way here: I didn’t hurt myself, someone else hurt me. Trust me, it won’t happen again.” Sabrina stood there, scowling at him. “Could we continue this discussion in the hall? I think we’ve disrupted Ms. Martin’s class enough.”

Carissa Martin smiled benevolently at him and gave him a nod of thanks. Jeff let his ladies and Sean lead the way out of the classroom. Once in the hall Sabrina rounded on him ready to continue the scolding. Both parents put their fingers to their lips in the universal sign for quiet. Sabrina was about to speak but closed her mouth.

“Sabrina, we still need to surprise your brothers,” Keiko reminded her. She motioned behind her daughter to the school staff in the hall smiling at them.

“They’re at gym, Mrs. Knox. This way.”

They set Keiko’s parents up.

A phone call from their granddaughter requesting they be at dinner that night ensured Mayumi and Hiro would knock on the front door by six. The look on their faces when Jeff opened the door was priceless. Mayumi launched herself at her son-in-law as her granddaughter had earlier. Hiro stood in the doorway in shock. Jeff struggled to keep up with the rapid-fire Japanese they used in his questioning.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, would ya?” Jeff requested with a smile. “I’m a little out of practice when it comes to speaking Japanese.”

“How long are you home for, Jeff?” Mayumi asked once they settled onto the couches in the living room.

“Until I heal up and can get back to work, Mayumi. Honestly, I’m probably done when it comes to being a Ranger medic. They’ve already filled my slot in the platoon and I only have a few months or so before I have to be performing to standard. That’s a small window, even if I don’t run into any problems.”

“Isn’t your enlistment up next year, Jeff?” asked Hiro.

Jeff nodded while taking a swig of his beer. Now that he was back in the States – and off most of the antibiotics – they told him he could have one a day at most.

“October 5th of next year. The regimental commander assured me I’ve satisfied my commitment to the Rangers even though I fell short of the twenty-six months I promised them. ‘Mitigating circumstances’ and all that.”

“And if you recover fully before October?”

This time Jeff shrugged. “I’m not sure. That’ll depend on when I’m back up to speed. The CO of the hospital here’s assured me that he can find a place for me to finish out my enlistment if I need one.”

While Keiko and her parents would never wish for bad things to happen to Jeff, they all prayed he wouldn’t have to leave again.

Jeff woke when Keiko’s alarm went off the following morning. He rose with the family and tried to help make breakfast.

He failed miserably.

He couldn’t carry anything while using his crutches. Every time he turned around he was in someone’s way. The family had their routine in the morning and he clearly interfered with it. Even sitting at the table caused disruption while they tried to get ready for their day. With barely a “Bye, Dad!” from the kids or a kiss from Keiko the house was silent and empty.

Jeff cradled his coffee mug while he sat on the couch an hour after his family’s departure, still trying to process the morning’s events. Staring out the living room windows Jeff felt the boredom start to creep in again. The silence surrounding him deafened him. There was no sense of movement around him, no sounds to announce anyone’s presence. Trying to break his inertia he pulled himself up.

He opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. A patch of sunshine splashed over the chairs there. With nothing else to do he sat down again. The early-November morning sunlight wasn’t quite strong enough to banish the chill of the air outside, but it was enough to keep him warm with the sweats he wore. Once settled Jeff looked out at his front yard.

Jeff heard the snap of a flag’s nylon as it fluttered in the morning breeze. Seeing Old Glory flying from the flagpole brought back memories of staring at Terry Nauert’s casket before his friend’s ramp ceremony at Bagram. Closing his eyes brought more memories: loading DJ and Ruben on to evac flights, the fear in Yasameen’s eyes as he raised his rifle in her direction, of zipping Blow Blajewski into a body bag.

Jeff stared at his nation’s flag. What did it represent to him now? Where was the America he thought he signed up to defend when he was seventeen? In 2001? Why were troops still over there, and what the hell would constitute ‘winning?’ When he returned from the Persian Gulf the whole nation seemed to be behind the troops, to care about them being well supported while deployed. The week of regular news broadcasts he’d been able to watch since returning home showed him a nation seemingly untouched by the war still raging far away, its citizens unconcerned about the threat still out there. Or the troops still out there. Congress debated whether or not to cut funding to the armed forces to force their return.

As if creating more hardships for the people deployed will help, he thought to himself while snorting in doubt.

Jeff didn’t know how long he sat in that chair on his porch. The sun neared its zenith when a Devens Medical Defense supervisor’s SUV pulled into his driveway. He rose to greet whoever came to visit. He felt the stiffness in his muscles from sitting so long as he hobbled down the front stairs. He smiled while he hustled over to greet the newcomer once he recognized her.

“It’s good to see you, Shawna!” he said while hugging his former partner.

“Welcome home, Jeff.” She glanced down at his leg. “Did you forget to duck?”

“I was ducking, thank you very much! As you can see it didn’t do me any good. Do you want to come in? This morning’s coffee is probably junk by now, but it won’t take me long to make a new pot.”

“I’d like that, thanks.”

Jeff waved her into the house and shut the door behind him.

“Hey, why are you wearing a DMD uniform? Are you working out here now, or is this just a special guest appearance?”

“No, I work out here now. Chandra and I live in Harvard.”

“You and Chandra...? What about Isaac?”

“That cheating bastard lives in Revere now.”

“Wha...? He was cheating on you? Is he an idiot?” Shawna stared at him while he made the coffee. “Okay, forget I asked. When the hell did this happen?”

“About the same time you deployed this spring.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“You had more important things to worry about.”

“More important than my friends?”

“Asks the man who hasn’t talked to or written to one of his oldest friends for a couple three years,” she retorted. That stopped him in his tracks.

“You guys tried to talk me out of reenlisting, and then at least tried to apologize after you came to understand my reasoning. She cut me off entirely without letting me explain myself, Shawna! Not a single word since I announced my reenlistment in 2001. She hung up on me repeatedly when I called to talk to her! Wrenched my namesake from my hands the last time TC tried to hand me their son! I was a little busy before I deployed, and once I was over there I didn’t see any reason to waste my time on someone who wouldn’t write back!”

Shawna didn’t reply right away. She stared into her coffee for a minute before responding.

“Jeff, what Isaac did to me hurt me deeply. He tore our family apart without a good reason, at least not one I agree with. He did more than just hurt Chandra and I, however. Two months after I left him his mother wrote a letter and sent it to my lawyer.” Shawna sighed while looking out the house’s windows. “I could see the tear stains on the paper, Jeff. She asked if she could see her granddaughter again. Without a custody agreement I wouldn’t let Isaac see Chandra, which meant Mary hadn’t seen her in all that time, either.” She turned back to her old partner.

“I hadn’t thought of the heartbreak Isaac caused others outside of Chandra and I. Mary welcomed me from the beginning, treated me like her own daughter, yet I hadn’t even considered what my marital problems did to her. She wrote that she thought her son was an idiot, a stance you obviously agree with, but that she loved him anyway. She also reminded me of the love she held for Chandra and I.

“The day after I got that letter Chandra and I drove to her house. Mary burst into tears when she answered her door and saw us standing there. While I don’t have a great relationship with my ex-husband, I have a very good relationship with my former mother-in-law. Chandra probably sees her grandmother twice as much as she sees her father. His apartment’s barely good enough for me to allow Chandra to stay there during his weekends with her. What I don’t allow is for his little bit of arm candy to be around when Chandra’s with him. He was leaving her with his mother while he’d take his bitch somewhere.”

“I’m glad you’ve got a good relationship with your former mother-in-law, Shawna, but what does your story have to do with Heather and I?” Jeff asked. Shawna put down her coffee and looked Jeff in the eye.

“Jeff, you’re angry at Heather, that much is clear. Your reasons are clear and they’re understandable: she shit-canned a close, seventeen-year-long relationship without so much as a word of explanation. How is what the two of you are doing affecting her husband, the guy you still call a friend and one you’ve known even longer than her? The one you welcomed back after his little tantrum? And how will it affect the little boy they named after you? What kind of example are you setting for him as his uncle and godfather if you don’t at least try to talk to her?

“I need to deal with Isaac because of Chandra. I couldn’t continue to cut her father down every time his name came up. Someday he’s going to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Am I going to be the bitter old hag in the corner, or am I going to help my daughter celebrate the happiest day of her life to that point?”

Shawna stood and looked at Jeff, who now looked out at his back yard as well.

“I won’t tell you what to do, Jeff. I figure that’s Keiko’s prerogative as your wife,” she quipped with a smile, one which wasn’t returned. “You once counted Heather as your best friend. While I agree you that you deserved to be treated better, isn’t she entitled to the same consideration? You don’t have to let her off the hook easily, Jeff – nor do I think you should – but you do have to talk to her.”

Shawna patted his shoulder and left the house.

Jeff stewed over Shawna’s advice until mid-afternoon. Shaking off his deep thoughts, Jeff searched the kitchen for the makings of his pasta carbonara. Without any spaghetti or capellini in the house he’d have to use the ziti he found. His left ankle throbbed while he grated the parmesan cheese and diced the now-thawed pancetta, but he toughed it out and finished the prep work in an hour. Guessing his family would be home after the school day ended and another class at the dojo, he would have dinner ready by 5:30 that evening.

He liked cooking in general and cooking for his family in particular. He’d always found it relaxing. Having one sore ankle and the other leg temporarily out of commission made things more challenging in the kitchen, but Jeff soon learned how to use just one crutch. Being able to use one of his hands made a world of difference.

The act of prepping the carbonara wasn’t difficult but getting the timing right when cooking it was. Making sure the pancetta rendered its fat and was crispy by the time the pasta was just short of al dente was always the tricky part. Starting the pancetta too early meant the pork fat would smoke if the heat wasn’t turned off. The safer situation was to have the pasta ready before the pancetta, but could be tricky, too.

Once the hot pork fat coated the drained pasta, Jeff added the eggs and cheese to it that he had mixed together ahead of time. After a thorough mixing the eggs were cooked and the cheese melted. He stirred the now-crispy pancetta back in as well as thawed peas. Glancing at the clock Jeff noted the time: 5:28. With a self-satisfied smile he started setting the table. That smile disappeared as Jeff continued to wait for his family. After an hour Jeff resigned himself to eating alone. He heard the garage door open as he washed the dishes.

“Let me turn off...” Keiko said to the kids after unlocking the door from the garage into the back hall.

She stared at the alarm panel trying to understand why the warning tone wasn’t sounding. Sensing movement in the kitchen she motioned for the kids to be quiet and crept down the hall. Jeff didn’t turn when he heard noises behind him, not even Keiko’s gasp. He continued to wash the pots and pans he used to make his meal.

“Jeffrey, what are you doing? Where is your other crutch?”

“I’m cleaning up after making dinner for all of us,” he replied in a curt tone, still not looking at his wife. “I learned how to use only one crutch to make working around in the kitchen easier.”

“You made dinner for us?” Keiko asked in an anguished voice.

“Yes.”

Keiko hugged Jeffrey and pressed her face to his back as she cried. She and the kids ate dinner out after their class at the dojo. They were so used to their routine they forgot Jeff was home.

Jeff wanted to shake Keiko off but hesitated. Despite his disappointment he couldn’t be intentionally cruel to his wife even if someone held a gun to his head. He stopped washing the dishes and put his hand over hers as Keiko continued to cry. Jeff stood there as his anger seeped away and his wife cried out her shame. He allowed his anger and indignation at being forgotten to build while eating. He sighed and closed his eyes. He hadn’t been home forty-eight hours and he’d already made his wife cry twice. This time, though, her tears weren’t happy tears. Jeff turned and gathered Keiko into his arms.

The kids stood in the hall crying also. They asked their mother over and over, “How much longer will Daddy be gone?” during Jeff’s deployment. They couldn’t believe within the span of a single school day they allowed themselves to fall right back into their routine. It was like they didn’t care their father was home, and that wasn’t the case at all. Jeff beckoned them over and included them in the hug.

“Hey, who wants ice cream?” Jeff asked after a few minutes. Despite her heartache Sabrina chuckled. “What? There weren’t a lot of ice cream shops over there. I gotta have my hot fudge sundae fix. Let’s go!”

The kids scampered back to the door to the garage and darted through it. Keiko walked down the hall at a more sedate pace. She glanced over her shoulder at her husband while they walked.

Keiko almost stumbled when she saw Jeff’s forced smile.